I sit here thinking of everything that i used to had and now that its gone. ma past is like a paper which is being written on it over and over again with deep black ink. I miss everything as i look back to the girl i once was where i had everything i wanted... I miss ma life, ma parents, but most of all you! I miss mummy and daddy together laughing and smiling, i miss the times we had dinner/lunch together, i miss the times we spent together and every msg you sent. I've been crying over all this but i ask maself whats the use of crying when you know you cant have it back again. I lost everything i owned and now i'm the girl who has no one by her side.
I recieved a call this afternoon from someone and the caller asked : " you still like him rite?" i just wanna tell that caller that i wont answer that question and i wanna tell you this : its not your fault and it never was. Its between da boths of us not because of you. You dont have to sae sorry and feel guilty abt it.
I wanan leave this place to a place where everything would be alright and where there will be no hurt, sadness, lies and pain. ma head, ma heart is aching and i doubt i can take this pain any longer. I wanna get out of ma world of lies and hurt and just go to a place where i can be who i wanna be woth no sadness, worries and pain. i'm not afraid to let go and leave but i'm thinking of mom and dad and the pain they'll be going through when i'm gone. I trying ma best to hold on and not letting go when i cant take it... I'm getting weaker and weaker as the days pass... if one day i cant hold on any longer mom and dad and i just let go, i just wanna tell you i love you alot.
-ciia-
