Came home 40mins ago... Had Chingay Dance jux now before tat had chinese dance. Ma leg still hurts and it kinda hurts even more now. Had sci common test this mornin... think i'm gonna flunk it coz i didn't even study for it. Todae Zhi Wei asked me why was i so quiet coz i'm usually not. For da pass 3daes, i've not been tokin much in class and out of class... I dunno why. I'm soo sad tat i cant go for da cross country 2molo... I'm sorrie i let u guys down.
I heard a good news todae fr dreyy... its tat she and justin stead le. Finalli! She always wanted to be wif him but wen he last asked her, she kinda rejected him but den he asked her again on v-dae before 12am and she agreed. So sweet horx. He was at da chingay practice jux now wif his breaker frenx... Haha...
Jux now in da mrt, i was leanin on zhen's shoulder and den a tear drop fell fr ma eye... u wanna now why? Coz i tot of da past and it made me feel sad. For some reason, i jux cannot forget ma past memories... And its always da sad ones tat i rmb da most clearly. I don wan or wish to think of da past but i jux cant help it. I'm sorrie Zhen and Drey if i kinda shocked you wif ma silent cry.
I hate it wen i havta tell u guys ma feelin on da fone or by sms. Dounch u noe tat i don wan us to be like this! Cant i have a proper family? U guys are always away fr me... Ask urself in one month how many tymx do i get to see u guys?? I think onli once or twice a week if both of u are in s'pore. Even though i stay wif u dad how often do i get to see u??? U come home late and nite and by den i'm always a sleep. Donch ask me to tell u guys how i feel and all coz its diff tellin u on da fone or by sms . Every nite i pray for a better endin tat da 3 of us can be together... but i noe deep down tat it can nv be. Sometimes i realli wanna sit down and have a nice good talk wif da both of u but i noe tat can nv be.
Daddy, i ask u wen was da last tym u spent a dae out wif me or even jux to sit down and have a good talk? Wen we talk, its either we quarrel or its jux for a sec or two. Sometimes, wen i try to talk to u, u'll always say " i'm busy now... talk to me later." Hello! Which is more important?? Watchin golf, talkin on da phone abt ur business thingy, usin ya laptop or ur daughter? I nv get a chance to be wif u since i was a lil ger. U noe tat!
Mummy, i noe ur always not in s'pore and all coz of all da problems u have back in thailand but i jux wan u to spend a lil more tym wif me. Don ask me hu i love more... coz deep down in ma heart i love both u and daddy equally. I noe i may sometimes be better to daddy but tat doesn't mean i love him more. I reali hope u can understand.
I caught in da middle between da both of u. Stop askin and forcin me to stay wif u! I'm big enough to choose myself! Mayb i don wanna stay wif any of u if not one of u will sae i love u more den da other which it will nv be true! Mummy and daddy, i reali hope tat u guys can understand me a lil more... u may think u noe me well enough but ur wrong! try askin urself... wads ma fav colour? Fav food?... wad are da things i like to do? Hu are ma frenx? Where i hang out? etc... I think u can nv ans this not in this lifetime if we don sit down and talk. I jux hate it this way!
I haven heard those words in a long tym... I miss da tym we had together... Things will change i noe it will.
"Somewhere other than the night, she needs to hear, 'I love you.'" Somewhere other than the night, she needs to know you care. she wants to know she's needed, she needs to be held tight. Somewhere other than the night."
sdoal ay evol
-ciia-
